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kinds of things with children that are important, you know, to read to them, to be with them, to take them places, to go climbing trees with them. I wouldn't trade that for anything because I think that it's sort of like the Bible says, for every time there is a purpose and a purpose for every season or whatever it says.
And I think that there's a certain logic, although I know that today—well, there are older parents today, for whatever reasons they've made those choices. And psychologically they've made those adjustments in their heads. I see a lot of gray heads in the park, having just a great time. But for myself, I'm glad that at the age that I am I can get back to thinking almost exclusively about myself and my career and the things that I want to do.
I never thought about this in the beginning, that okay, I'm going to devote—the one generalization I think I can make in observing young people today who are trying to plan their future, they plan too much. They've taken all the spontaneity and fun and the mystery out of life. That's what life is to me, that's what makes it so wonderful, that there's mystery and there's some things that you just simply cannot plan. You know, teaching you to struggle and make choices and make sacrifices for one thing so you can do something else. I mean, I just think it's the most boring life in the world for you to sit around. My husband and I often get into things because he says you need a plan. We've never had a budget. I mean, I just can't deal with that.
I never sat down when I was young and said, "Okay, I'm going to devote my time now to my kids because there's going to come a time when I'm older that I will be finished with them and can come back to thinking about myself." I never thought about it that way. I did what I had to do when I had to do it. And it just kind of worked out because like now, I'm still healthy, I still have a lot of energy, I still have a good job. And I think I have a little more appreciation about—I guess I might call it wisdom. I'm not yet ready to be a wise, old person. But I have perspectives that add up to knowing more than I would have known twenty-five years ago—or twenty or fifteen.
So it's a good time for me doing what I do to be doing it this way, going out, looking at the world, talking to people about situations that are major issues of the world. And I can handle them because I have the perspective and benefit of all these years and all these experiences that have built up to this. And as I said, thank God I have the energy.
And I don't have the psychic pull if I'm off in Somalia for six weeks or South Africa for two months. Everybody in my household is capable of taking care of themselves. And although we miss our kids when they're away, it's also nice to be back in a household in which there's just the two of us, being able to be spontaneous again. Because as spontaneous as you often have to be with children, their agenda is what dictates it instead of yours.
And that was a balance that I always tried to maintain so that we wouldn't become total captives of our children. I'm a [Benjamin] Spock* person and that's what Spock used to talk about, how these little people coming into your lives are coming into your life, your whole life shouldn't change just because you now have a baby. But it changes, it can't help but change, but you don't have to become a different person. It's still very important for couples to get away without the kids, no matter how much they love the kids. I don't know how many marriages have gone bad because the wife gets too involved in the kid and loses interest in sex and loses interest in paying attention to the husband. You know, men are babies, they need attention, and vice versa. Her needs aren't being met because the man can't appreciate what she's going through.
Well, you know, every now and then you just need to get away, the two of you, and reconnect. And it doesn't mean you don't love your children. But if you are in a position to find somebody caring and loving who can take care of them, you have to get away from kids sometimes and keep them in perspective.
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* Benjamin M. Spock (b. 1903), psychiatrist and author of the best-seller Baby and Child Care, 1946.